Today the only rules for selecting your Bride Tribe are anything goes. Best friend is a guy? – no problem, want a mixed wedding party? – sure, or no attendants? – that’s fine too.
There is more space for individuality and flair. Brides are less insistent on everyone being the same and will encourage their Bride Tribe to dress to their personal body shape and choose their own outfit (something that looks great long after the big day).
Being in a Bride Tribe should be an honour, not an onerous task. It’s a great chance to set clear expectations, write helpful job lists and enjoy the big day.
Traditionally there have been particular tasks associated with the duty of bridesmaid – hold the bouquet, ensure the bride has everything she needs all day, organise the hen’s day, prepare a speech, help with arrangements but busy lives (yes, that applies to everyone) means there is greater need for negotiation. Consider the Bride Tribe a team, play to each person’s unique strengths and, most of all, make it fun! It doesn’t hurt to ask, “What do you want to do?”
Traditions for your Bride Tribe
It is customary for attendees to be given a gift of appreciation – perhaps gorgeous portraits by your official photographer, a personalised piece of jewellery or other symbol of the day. ‘Getting ready’ on the morning of the wedding has also taken on a fresh approach with the tradition of matching robes to wear during hair and makeup. And there’s a purpose beyond the practical – matching robes look great in photos too.
The Bridesmad Proposal
Yes – there’s more than one proposal required for a wedding day.
Make a special event of asking your besties to be your bridesmaid or bride guy. Brides are making the proposal memorable by giving a symbolic gift or ‘reveal’ when they ‘pop the question’. Hint – do it as soon after you announce your engagement as possible.
Bride Tribe Talents ” the ‘Job Description\’”
• Researcher extraordinaire
• Active listener on-call for advice, the sounding board
• Party planner who pulls together fabulous options for hen’s party • Mindfulness coach keeping it all calm on the day
• Kid wrangler for young attendants
• DJ who creates playlist for getting ready
• Caterer for snacks
• General all-rounder and forever ‘heart’ friend
Photos: Timothy Lefel